4 Questions to ask when you’re comparing yourself to others
When I start to compare myself to others, I ask myself these 4 questions leading me from a deep, dark cave to a sea of stars.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self”
“Comparison kills creativity”
We’ve all heard these quotes time and time again. I like quotes as much as the next person but what I really enjoy are questions. Our brain LOVES questions, but we need to ask our brain the RIGHT kind of questions. Questions that make our wondering mind stop + think rather than churn at its normal frequency of bull crap it tries to spew out at us.
4 Questions to ask when you’re comparing yourself to others:
Where was I a year ago?
Who is weighing me down?
Am I creating or consuming?
Who can I rally around today?
Where was I a year ago?
We are constantly learning + growing. Recognizing how far we have come helps us refocus on our goals + aspirations. This question helps us move FORWARD, towards our future life. Comparison not only leads us backward but also sideways and somewhere else entirely because we are focusing on someone else’s journey instead of our own.
Who is weighing me down?
This isn't someone else's fault! I have unfollowed people because their awesomeness is just too much for me to handle! Honest to goodness! I have to be honest with myself about what I'm consuming + sometimes I get anxious consuming too many awesome concepts, ideas + inspiration. It's weird but true. If comparison is a real problem for you (ahem, all of us!) Take a snooze for 30 days from some people to let the sound of your own inspiration fill your mind instead of comparing, negative + self-harming thoughts.
Am I creating or consuming?
I have to ask myself this question a lot. Creating looks like a lot of things, it doesn't mean just photoshoots and collabs. It may look like a really awesome blog post, guide or a personal project that doesn't see the light of day? Creating matters! Creating instead of mindlessly scrolling matters because it helps us see the beauty in others rather than compare their light to our own. Creating shows us that we too are capable of shining and that just because one person shines, doesn’t mean we can’t shine. I love the quote “There’s no comparison to the sun + moon. They shine when it’s their time.” I mean, do you know how many stars there are???? Like, a bazillion. Could you imagine if the bazillion stars stopped shining because one star (I don’t know, like the frigg’n sun!) shone brighter than them. Our night sky would be black! BLACK! You were meant to shine my friend. The stars said so, ok?
Who can I rally around today?
This. This is something we can do instantly when we are feeling like we suck. It helps us recognize that encouraging stars to shine benefits us all. When we focus our attention on someone else, it not only makes them shine brighter, it makes us shine brighter too.
You see? You were meant to be you. You were made to stumble, suck + fall so you could recognize that we ALL do. And if we all stumble, suck + fall, we all are amazingly talented, smart + capable too.